Even surrender is something I can't do.

Jon Acuff writes the following in his post “Losing Your Religion.”

“I don’t want to experience the best of what Jon Acuff is capable. That’s small and tiny and insignificant. I want to experience the best of what God is capable. A supernatural God who breathed life into me and set the stars in place and moves with as much mystery and creativity as he did when he wrote a message on the wall for a king or burned a talking bush for a prophet.

I don’t want to be in charge of my growth, with effort-based faith that hollows me out and leaves me shiny on the outside and empty in the middle.

I want Christ to be in charge of my growth. A Christ that didn’t say to the disciples, “Come and you will learn how to be fishers of men.” A Christ who said, “Come and I will make you fishers of men.”

If you and I believed for a second that the same power that raised Christ from the dead was in us, can you fathom how different that day would be?”

This rings so true. Why don’t we see God’s power manifest in our lives? God hasn’t changed. He is still the same God who created the entire universe. He is still the same God who sent His Son as a sacrifice, and the same God who raised His Son from the dead. He is still the same God who parted the Red Sea. He is still the same God who parted the Jordan River. He is still the same God who healed the sick, and cast out demons. He is still the same God who told us that if we asked in Jesus name, and for the glory of the Father, He would grant our requests.

So why doesn’t it feel that way? It’s not because of God that we don’t see his power. It’s not because of God that our lives aren’t anointed. It’s not because of God that we aren’t truly sold out to Him and surrendered. It’s not because of God that we aren’t on fire and impassioned for His glory.

It’s because of us.

Francis Chan writes in his book “Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit” that followers of Christ should be described as “powerful”.  Are we afraid that God won’t show up in answer to our prayers? Or is it possible that we are afraid that He will?  God’s power can be kind of scary. Being on God’s side requires that we surrender. That we relinquish control. But isn’t it what we want? We certainly want to be on God’s side.

Often when I hear inspiring messages, my initial response is “Whoa. That’s amazing. I’ll have to try to live more in surrender.” Yeah. It doesn’t work that way. By definition, “trying” is making an effort to do something. But “surrender” is giving up control, giving oneself up.

Even surrendering is something I can’t do on my own.

I need God’s help to surrender to Him. I can’t conquer my controlling nature by controlling it more. I can’t even conquer my controlling nature at all. I must make my choice, and then rely on God’s power to conquer my control. He, and only He, can conquer my control.